It's not about being self-centered; us REAL MEN know what we want, the same as cis-women know what they want. Everyone is looking for something... The world has changed, and trust and believe, straight men are better off with femboys now.
Wow, if ever there was a comment that offers a more succinct summary of the masculine self-centredness that women often criticise men like you for! My personal take on this topic is that unlike transwomen, who apparently need to hyperemphasize their femininity to express their gender, cis-women don't have to answer the same question in order to express something they already are. And imo what constitutes as 'winning' for a woman - ANY woman - isn't in seeking their personal value through the approval of men, but in actually escaping from the need for it. If a woman isn't fazed by your lack of appeal to the way she carries herself, then she's already won.